Leading With Heart & Backbone
“Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.”
– Michael Scott, The Office
I love The Office. I’ve watched every episode at least twice—that’s 154+ hours I’ll never get back. One of the show’s favorite plotlines is Michael Scott’s painful indecision: in trying to please everyone, he delays, avoids, and inevitably makes everything worse. Funny on TV. Painful in real life.
I’ve worked for some leaders who are deeply empathetic, great listeners, humble to a fault—and completely ineffective. They’re loved by the team... until the team realizes no one’s actually steering the ship.
Servant leadership, as Robert Greenleaf framed it, starts with the desire to serve. It values empathy, humility, awareness, and community. But servant leadership isn’t soft. At its best, it’s people-centered and performance-driven.
The leader is present and connected—but also decisive, clear, and willing to hold the team (and themselves) accountable.
When leaders avoid hard decisions or direct conversations in the name of “being nice,” they create confusion and frustration. It’s well-meaning passivity disguised as care. Over time, that kind of leadership doesn’t just slow progress—it erodes trust.
An impactful servant leader:
• Engages the team and listens actively.
• Makes the best decision possible based on the input and the context.
• Communicates that decision clearly—ideally with the “why.”
• Follows through and ensures the team does the same.
Accountability isn’t harsh—it’s clarifying. Great leaders don’t let their people drift; they help them grow. That sometimes means calling out excuses or missed commitments—but doing it from a place of “us vs. the problem,” not “me vs. you.”
I work on this balance every day with the leaders I coach—and wrestle with it myself. Human-centric leadership isn’t about tip-toeing on eggshells and being indecisive. It’s about actively listening, deciding clearly, and building a team that knows where it’s going and how to get there.
So ask yourself:
Are you leading with heart and backbone?
Want to explore that balance? We’d love to walk with you. Contact us for a short meetup regarding how executive coaching can strengthen both your leadership heart and backbone.
